Last week we received our Easter message
and read about Mary’s encounter with the risen Christ; how Mary had confronted
the gardener at the empty tomb
concerning the whereabouts of Jesus’ body.
After a moment of discussion, the gardener
called Mary by name and instantly she realized that it was her teacher and
friend, Jesus, which stood before her. Rabonni, she cried, which is translated
as, “My Teacher.” In an instant, at the
sound of her name, all the worries of the world and the tears that distracted
her from recognizing her Jesus were swept away.
Jesus had called her by name and Mary responded.
Then there is Peter and
John. They had rushed to the tomb when
Mary had told them that it was empty.
Equally alarmed that someone had taken away the body of the teacher,
they wasted no time in seeing for themselves what Mary had told them was
true. But when Mary later tells them of
her encounter with the risen Christ, they do not seek. There seems to be an abundance of time and a
lack of urgency. Why is that? Why didn’t they go looking for him? Why an apparent grave robbery was seemingly
more intriguing than an apparent resurrection from the grave is beyond me. Hadn’t Jesus taken the time to teach them
about and prepare them for this event?
These
are difficult questions to answer.
Today’s scripture reading tells us that the Disciples were huddled
together behind locked doors. The door
was locked. Why would the Disciples be hidden
away from the world behind locked doors?
Perhaps a stolen body would have been a little easier to digest than a
resurrected Christ. At least with a
stolen body, there was still affirmation in the finality of death. But a risen Jesus would call for some
alarm. The disciples knew that it was
entirely possible. They had, after all,
seen Lazarus resurrected so to conceive that Jesus himself had defeated death
was not outside of their understanding. If
Jesus was back from the dead, then I imagine the disciples believed that they
were in for it.
Could
it have been that they were afraid of running into Jesus himself? Certainly Peter would have had reason to be
afraid to run into Jesus. The last time
Peter had spoken to Jesus, his words had been full of confidence. But then some hours later a rooster crowed
and Peter seriously considered following Judas down a path of destruction. It wasn’t just Peter who had denied their
Christ and fled, but all of the other disciples had fled Gethsemane; frightened
like sheep in a storm.
Yet all the while these
ten disciples are hiding behind locked doors, our scripture reading tells us
that Thomas was not with them. Where had
he been? Possibly he was out looking for
Jesus. John’s gospel tells us that he
was called Didymus which translates as Twin. The very nickname itself implies that
Thomas had a unique relationship with Jesus.
Though not biologically
Jesus’ twin, it is apparent that the two shared a common spirit, closer maybe
it seems than did the other disciples with Christ. I have two brothers and two sisters and love
them all unconditionally. If you have
brothers and sisters of your own, then you must know what I mean. In addition, however, one of my brothers is
also my twin. Though I love him as
unconditionally as my other siblings, there is a special bond that we
share. It’s indescribable to anyone who
does not have a twin of their own, but it binds us in a way that no other
relationship can. I lost a sister a few
years ago to a brain aneurism. It is
hard to lose someone you love and you never fully recover from that loss, but eventually
you move on. However, if my twin were to
leave me without notice, I believe I would feel that my own life had ended.
The loss that Thomas
felt must have been incredibly indescribable.
Maybe he was not with the other Disciples because he still needed time
to sort things out or maybe he was desperately trying to find the risen
Christ. How disappointed and hurt he
must have felt when he returned to the Disciples to learn that he had missed
seeing his Lord. His doubt was not his
downfall. It was reactive. Almost like that of a child who reacts to not
getting his way. If I can’t share in the experience, then I will not accept that anyone
has. I will not believe unless I see the
marks of Jesus crucifixion in His hands and place my hand into His side. A pretty tall order, I think.
But that is what doubt
does to us. It causes us to question all
that we know and believe. Sometimes our
questions seem legitimate, and why shouldn’t they. Many of us have found ourselves on the
receiving end of some very hurtful interpretations of God’s Word and because
we, for whatever reason, felt unable to question those beliefs, we denied
ourselves an opportunity to learn for ourselves what God had in store for each
of us. Isn’t wonderful to know that God
has a plan? God can and will use our
doubt to strengthen our faith. Jesus let
Thomas wait eight days before he appeared to the Disciples again and this time
to Thomas, as well. For eight days
Thomas was forced to explore his doubt, to hear from the other Disciples all
that had occurred that day as Thomas was apart from them. Jesus could have appeared instantaneously
during that first moment of Thomas doubt, but he didn’t. And so it is for us. Our doubts, our fears and our questions
should be discerned; mulled over, if you will.
Jesus let that doubt work in Thomas and to strengthen all that Thomas
had learned and saw during Christ time before His crucifixion and so, too,
Christ allows us time to hash out our own beliefs and salvation.
There may be some here today who believe that they do not
have doubt but it is reasonable to say that we all have had our doubts at one
time or another. Have you ever prayed
something like, "O God, if there is a God, save my soul, if I have a soul,
so I can go to heaven, if there is a heaven.” Some of us may laugh, but
doubt is usually not a laughing matter. Dealing with doubt is
difficult.
A Christian businessman is laid off only six months before
retirement and the company he worked for somehow managed to finagle it so that
he lost all his retirement benefits. He honestly expresses his anger to
God, "God, that's not fair! I don't know if Christianity is worth
it! How can you say you love me when you allow something bad like this to
happen." Have you ever been there? Have you ever wondered if
God really did care about you?
You watch a news documentary about the devastating drought
in a third world country. There’s a mother cradling her dead baby crying
out in anguish. You can’t understand her words, but you imagine she is
saying something like, “God, why did you let my baby die. All we needed
was a little rain? Why did you let my baby die?” You begin to
wonder how a good God could do such a thing. Or fail to be moved to
prevent it. Have you ever had these kinds of thoughts?
A man says, “I can’t imagine a God who would put anyone in
hell for eternity. I would never willingly torture anyone no matter how
evil he was.” You feel the weight of his words and begin to wonder about
the doctrine of hell yourself.
Doubts; they can be nagging. They can be
overwhelming. They can even devastate your faith. But as we saw in our reading today, Christ is
faithful. He is faithful to be with us,
to give us strength and to allow our doubts to work to our advantage, if only
we continue to trust in Him. Even a
believer of the status of Thomas, a Disciple who had walked with Jesus, one who
had heard his teachings, witnessed the healing of the sick and even saw Lazarus
raised from the dead; had doubts. He
didn’t runaway because of his doubt but rather he persevered.
At the end of the week, when Thomas was in the company of
the disciples’, Jesus appeared again to them.
Immediately he went to his friend (his twin) Thomas, and asked him to
touch him, doubt no more – and believe.
Jesus did not reprimand Thomas for doubting nor did he ridicule him for
reacting the way that he did to the news of His Resurrection. He simply met Thomas where he was.
As a result of his perseverance, Thomas was blessed. Out of
this experience, Jesus, being the great teacher that he is, teaches Thomas and
the others another valuable lesson concerning his resurrection. Verse 29 states, “‘Because you have seen me,
you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have
believed.’"
God delights in our humanity and through our relationship
with Christ Jesus, delights in us – even when we stumble and question our
existence – even when we doubt. God is
there with us, even when we cannot see or feel God; God is there, beyond our
senses.
Each experience of our lives, however minuscule or profound,
allows us the opportunity for a fresh new start; a new hope for a new day and a
new beginning. Knowledge is important,
but faith is what matters most. Hold on
to your faith when you doubt and when you believe. Trust that God is working through the
uncertainty, the doubt and the unanswered questions of your life. AMEN.
